A Navel Legacy

This morning, I paused to look at my stomach in the mirror. On it, I saw the new permanent residents on my skin - the silver squiggly lines that wrap up my mid-section in a circular motion. And, still faintly there is my dark linea negra which runs through my navel. Oh, yes. That belly button. At least something returned to its old state. I do actually have one of those again. It sinks in instead of being flat with the rest of my stomach or poking out like it did just over 5 months ago. Even still, this belly of mine will always bear evidence of the fruit that was once there growing inside it. The fruit that now walks around outside my body, can climb on anything it likes, and doesn't like taking naps or being told what to do. And of course the fruit that can roll and scoot around in circles, is half bald and about to outgrow her infant car seat.

There’s nothing quite like experiencing the physical scars, long days and even longer nights of motherhood to made you appreciate how much your mother gave to you, and the mother before her, and the mother before her, and the mother before her. The dark little belly button in the center of my tummy is my permanent reminder of the physical nourishing my mother did for me not only in utero, but out of it as well.

My family: me, my brother Jeremy, sister McKenzie, Riley being held by my mom, and my dad.

My mom can cook like nobody’s business. If ever a person could show their love with food, my  mother did that for my siblings and me. Not only did my mom know how to nourish our bodies, my mom knew how to nourish our minds. My mom encouraged us to develop all our talents, to study good books and to get a college education – and she with my dad provided the resources for us to do all those things. She still helps me in this respect. (Hypnobabies training conference!) My mom also encouraged us to nourish our spirits, through daily scripture study, and prayer and heeding of the promptings of the Holy Ghost. My mom taught us to give generously and freely and happily. Basically my mom was awesome – and she still is. I learn something from her every time I see her. (How is that even possible – don’t I know everything there is to know yet? ;) ) My incredible mother also has a navel, just like mine, that points to her own mother’s contributions and sacrifices.

My granny Shanks.

Though my granny matter-of-factly has stated to me that she has absolutely no stretch marks from any of her 7 pregnancies (the last being pregnancy being a set of twins)! I am jealously astonished and I wonder out loud, “C’mon Gran – the least you could have done was pass that on to me!” My granny did gift her children with a love of music by playing semi-classical music every morning at breakfast, and by singing to them in her monotone voice every night. She gifted her children a household of faith, dependable routines, a wonderful neighborhood to run around and to play in, a love of sports, and great respect for familial duty. With 8 kids she certainly could have complained about all the ironing and laundry and cooking and cleaning and limited resources. But she never did. She made a comfortable home and made due with all she had. The origin of my Granny’s strong and admirable sense of duty can be found in her navel and the memory of her own mother.

My great grandma Harrison – my mother’s mother’s mother. What a story she had! I’ve always heard that my great grandma, Lily had a harsh demeanor. This becomes more clear when you learn more of her story. Though her family were orthodox Jews, she chose to marry the Mormon solider from the United States who she fell in love with while he served overseas during the war. She moved to a tiny town called Milad, Idaho, joined the LDS church and started a family with her love despite her family disowning her for that choice. Tragically,after great grandma and grandpa had 8 children together, grandpa died from injuries he’d acquired during the war. And my great grandma was left to provide for her children as a widow in a foreign country, in a tiny little farm town. She made a living selling Avon and Christmas cards. Great grandma didn’t take any government handouts, and hardly any help from anyone else either. She was very proud – and very self-reliant and very thrifty. (My granny says she can’t eat oatmeal anymore, because she ate it so much as a child that she can’t stand it now.) Great grandma Harrison was also faithful to the church she had joined. In a short autobiography she wrote about herself she said that she had not been perfect in her life but that she was pleased above all that her children had all turned out all right – that that was what was most important to her. Great grandma also had a navel that had formerly connected her to her mother overseas.

I don’t know a whole lot about the story of my great grandma Lily’s mother. To have disowned her child seems an unduly harsh thing to do in a day and world like ours where everybody says that anything goes. But, then I think about my favorite character, Tevye, from the famous musical, “Fiddler on the Roof” and I start to understand. My great great grandma, must have been a woman of unshakable faith. She fled from Prussia with her family to England to escape the horrible persecution of the Jews that was going on there. My great great grandma had chosen first and foremost to serve her God in the best way she knew how through all that life had thrown at her. My great great grandma actually passed away while my great grandma was pregnant with my granny. My granny was named Lena after her memory. More proof to me that despite how challenging some of her choices were to digest, that this was a woman worth remembering and cherishing.

And her mother? And her mother? And her mother? All the way back to our first mother, Eve. They all gave their babies the incredible gift of life. And each mama gave them their own contributions, their different legacies – of faith, self-reliance, thriftiness, music, duty, and nourishment of mind, body, and spirit and so on and so forth.

And I? Well, I just look at my sweet, rambunctious children, and I hope that God can make up the difference in where I am at and what my children need! Because this motherhood thing? It takes all I have to offer and then some. And I really don’t know if my “and then some” will be enough to create any sort of legacy worth writing about. I do know, though, that the great women who came before me did it - with God, they did it. I know that I am indebted to Him, and to them for the love and sacrifices they have all given to their children (and to me) with all they had and were/are.

I hope I can live up to the lives and legacies my mother ancestors have set for me. Today, I cherish and honor and remember them. 

Today I looked at those lines on my once smooth belly that have marked my path to motherhood and that darkened navel heritage of mine, and I smiled.

Me, my mom, Granny Shanks and Atley

M.I.A. in St.Louis, MO: Hypnobabies Instructor Training

This past week, I attended my Hypnobabies Instructor training conference in St.Louis, Missouri!

The Arch - National monument and gateway to the West!

My mom and my sisters McKenzie and Riley attended with me so that Lincoln and Atley could be well cared-for while I attended the conference throughout the day, and did "Home-play" (homework) each night. It was a busy, busy week.

To be completely honest: I really missed my kids. The whole run up to our hotel room for 10 minutes to nurse Atley (who *will not* take a bottle of her mama's milk) and the quick hug for Lincoln every couple of hours was not my favorite.

Also, to be completely honest: all the incredible amounts of information I learned at the conference, and the camaraderie I felt with all the other amazing women there was fabulous. It's not every day you get to meet one of your heroes, either. And Kerry Tuschoff - the founder of Hypnobabies - is definitely up there on that list of role-models for me.

Speaking of Kerry being one of my role models. You know how people get all crazy about celebrities touch their hand, or shirt, or signing something of theirs? Well, during the conference, I had my own brush with fame - so to speak - where Kerry Tuschoff was concerned. Yes, pun intended - here's what I mean. I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt the day we were discussing newborn kindness. So Kerry used my arm to demonstrate to the class what little newborn babies feel when they are rubbed raw with rough towels. My arm was bright red and burning by the end! Ahhh! Haha! Not exactly the brush with fame I'd always dreamed, but I'll take it. ;) It demonstrated three great points that I'll be sharing in my classes:

• Bring your own soft towels for your babies after they are born.
• No hard rubbing/scrubbing of newborns - only light patting of that Vernix in to the skin.
• Have that be done by a tender daddy, not a nurse! 

*Rant and random story done. Still haven't washed my arm. . . J/K!*

Seriously, though - I can't stop running through all of the incredible stuff I learned at the conference in my mind. I can't wait to get my first set of classes set up so I can have a forum to teach and talk about birth with a captive audience! ;) But, back to the trip.

We arrived on May 1st, my mom's birthday. We celebrated with pizza and dessert from this seriously delicious place, which was just a few blocks away from our hotel.

The next couple of days were very rainy, but once it calmed down a bit everyone (but me) got out to explore and enjoy the city a bit. Lincoln enjoyed going on the horse-drawn carriage ride around the town.

 

 

Mimi making sure Lincoln stayed inside the carriage during the ride. :)

The next day they rode the arch, which made Lincoln nervous ("Hugs! Hugs!" he told his Mimi as he clung tightly to her at the top.)

Lincoln feeling nervous riding the arch pod up to the top.

Several nights, we went swimming in the indoor pool at the hotel. Atley and Lincoln both absolutely loved the water. And yes - I totally wore my glasses in the swimming pool.

We even put this little floaty jacket on Lincoln and he had a blast swimming around on his own. I think it is time to do another session of swim lessons and soon - this boy thinks he is a little too invincible in the water for his own good:

Atley loved snuggling with her Aunt McKenzie in the mornings. Good preparation for what is to come for McKenz - with her getting married here in just over a month. ;)

At breakfast our very last morning, one of the women working the breakfast area at the hotel came up to us, looking at Atley and said with her sassy voice, "She a juicy baby!" We all laughed, and my mom responded, "That's the most perfect description we've heard of her yet!" Isn't it, though? I love this "juicy" baby girl of mine!

Adorable baby Atley - and a pretty good shot of Kenzie's great engagement ring.

On our last day in Missouri, we dined out at the quintessential tourist eatery: the Hard Rock Cafe.

Sistas, Linc, and Atley at the Hard Rock Cafe - thanks for taking the photo, Mom!

Since Kenzie and I got "Legendary" burgers at the Hard Rock Cafe, we were eligible to enter photos with our food on Instagram for a contest to win a trip. We didn't win, but I'm pretty sure this had to be the cutest picture of the day. Look at those thigh rolls! Look at that little tongue!:

 

On our ride back to the hotel on the Metrolink, we made sure to cross the Mississippi river just for the fun of it. I finally got a picture with the arch.

We all took one final walk around the park by the Arch and Lincoln got to see fireflies for the first time in real life - which he really enjoyed, as he had just been introduced to fireflies through Eric Carle's, The Lonely Firefly, only a few weeks earlier.

The park by the Arch - blindingly, beautifully green to my Tucson resident eyes!

The flight home was a bit stressful, as Atley had a massive poopy blowout (Curse you, disposables!) just minutes before boarding the plane, and then another just about a half hour after the plane took off - leaving her with no more back-up clothes to wear. So, she just flew in a diaper wrapped up in her blanket. And Lincoln? He starting this delightful screechy screaming thing the last 45 minutes of the flight or so.

Me: "Lincoln! See all these people on the plane? They don't like it when you scream like that. That is not considerate. Can you say considerate? Look at the people. Let's be nice and quiet for all of them."

Lincoln: *Screech!* "People! People!" *Giggling.*

Me: *Slapping myself in the face and holding it there to hide my face. And also laughing to myself just a little bit - (because the lady sitting in front of us with her tightly pursed lips, rolling eyes and chair reclined in the farthest position possible, was going to be in a bad mood no matter what happened on that flight.)*

Being silly with Aunt Kenzie on the flight home. :)

Before I came to this conference, I:

• Read and reviewed 7 books.
• Completed a college-level introductory Hypnosis course.
• Read many more articles, and watched several videos in preparation for my general childbirth education course (which was held the day before the Hypnobabies specific training.)

Now that I have attended this conference, I am still not an official instructor! Before I am an official Hypnobabies instructor, I have to:

• Pass my Hypnobabies final exam with at least 90%.
• Read one more childbirth book and write a review of it. 
• Put together a list of natural-friendly locations and care providers for my future clients.
• Submit my signed Hypnobabies contract by snail mail.

My goal it to get that done before I go to Reno for Kenzie's wedding. *Fingers crossed.*

I have discovered that it is no small feat to become a Hypnobabies instructor! Though, it most certainly would have been impossible at this time in my life without the help of my wonderful mom and sisters coming with me to my training to take care of my little ones. So, to them I am forever grateful and indebted! Thanks again fabulous family. I love you all, and I'm glad we did this together. I really couldn't have done it without you. I'm so glad we did it. :)

The Appropriate Parallel to the Priesthood

I have quite a few Mormon Feminist friends. They like to point out that Priesthood ≠ Motherhood. And I? Well, I actually agree! I think they were right to point out that the appropriate parallel to Motherhood is Fatherhood. But what exactly is the appropriate parallel to the Priesthood then? Over what gift/power of God to bless His children, has God given women a special stewardship? My answer to this question came in this general conference. The appropriate parallel to the Priesthood is Procreation.

Elder M. Russell Ballard taught in his talk, This is My Work and Glory:

• "In our Heavenly Father’s great priesthood-endowed plan, men have the unique responsibility to administer the priesthood, but they are not the priesthood. Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife. And as husband and wife, a man and a woman should strive to follow our Heavenly Father. The Christian virtues of love, humility, and patience should be their focus as they seek the blessings of the priesthood in their lives and for their family." (emphasis added)

If procreation is the gift of God, given to women to have stewardship over, but is shared by both husband and wife, it follows that virtue is women's special power. The more I ponder, the more it makes sense.  Sister Dalton, gave a talk in General Conference and in the Young Women General meeting where she said these two things:

•  "Virtue is the strength and power of daughters of God." - We Are Daughters of Our Heavenly Father by: Sister Elaine S. Dalton

• Cherish virtue. Your personal purity is one of your greatest sources of power. . . Your body is a temple. Why? Because it has the capacity to house not only your eternal spirit but also the eternal spirits of others who will come to the earth as part of your eternal family. . . Your role is an exalted role. God has given you a sacred trust!" Be Not Moved! by: Sister Elaine S. Dalton

These quotes rang so true when I heard them. I have pondered on a scripture in the Book of Mormon for several years now. In Jacob 2:28, it says, "For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. . ." Of course God delights in the chastity of men, but why did he specifically mention women in this verse? That is something that has come back to my mind from time to time, and it is beginning to become clearer to my mind, especially with these recent conference talks. It is because that is our special power and stewardship to bless God's children.

When we make immoral choices that violate that sacred trust God has given us, we lose our power. Sometimes, that ability to bear children is lost quite literally, when you consider that STD's have contributed to a 500%increase in infertility in women. But women lose power when they willingly give up their virtue in other ways - and we see this as men become less interested in marriage, less driven, less committed - as women on the whole choose promiscuity through reckless uncommitted sex and the allowing improper objectifying of their bodies through pornography and materialism. Who really loses? Women certainly do. Ultimately though, we all do. 

Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing and raising children, just as many worthy men are not given certain responsibilities within the priesthood. However, if they are virtuous, they keep that same power and the promise of ultimately receiving that responsibility and blessing in eternity. Consider this quote from President Packer about men's priesthood responsibilities and see if you can't also make the same parallels I am making: 

• "The priesthood is not divisible. An elder holds as much priesthood as an Apostle. (See D&C 20:38.) When a man receives the priesthood, he receives all of it. However, there are offices within the priesthood—divisions of authority and responsibility. One may exercise his priesthood according to the rights of the office to which he is ordained or set apart." What Every Elder Should Know - And Every Sister as Well - A Primer on Principles of Priesthood Government by: President Boyd K. Packer 

Every righteous women can hold and use the power of virtue and use it to bless the lives of God's children, regardless of what specific responsibilities she has in mortality, just as all righteous men can hold and use the power of the Priesthood to bless the lives of God's children, regardless of what specific responsibilities he has in mortality. There are special gifts, rights, and authority given to individuals to fulfill their unique responsibilities - but the power is complete. Eternally, we know that any difficulties in fulfilling all responsibilities as the they relate to the fallen nature of our bodies, will be perfected with our resurrection and our obedience to God's laws. 

I have found several quotes from General Authorities that comment on the innate and special spirituality of women. This seems to dennote what I was saying above - that righteous women wield that power of virtue to bless themselves and other, regardless of their unique responsibilities where motherhood and marriage are concerned. Here is just one of them:

• "Surely the secret citadel of women’s inner strength is their spirituality. In this they equal and even surpass men, as they do in faith, morality, and commitment when truly converted to the gospel. They have 'more trust in the Lord [and] more hope in his word' (“More Holiness Give Me,” Hymns, 1985, no. 131). This inner spiritual sense seems to give them a certain resilience to cope with sorrow, trouble, and uncertainty."  The Highest Place of Honor by: President James E. Faust

Undoubtedly, many will have trouble with my suggestion that the power of women is so tied up with our physical bodies, but we should not be so concerned about that because we know no blessing will be withheld from us if we are obedient to God's laws. In a very literal sense, this instruction from Isaiah applies to both men and women when you ponder on their unique gifts of God to bless his children:  

• Isaiah 52:11 "Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the Lord."

Men are vessels of the Priesthood power, and women are the vessels of wombs which give bodies and life to God's children. Additional interesting and enlightening to note - both men and women have powers and roles which primarily include both a spiritual and physical element. These great powers and roles are not wielded alone, but in partnership with our spouse.

My friend Caity Cummings made this awesome chart illustrating this concept, and I share it with all of you with her permission:

Here are some of the quotes/blog posts I have found that I think back up the validity of this presentation of ideas:

• "This is the great, irreplaceable work of women. Life cannot go on if women cease to bear children. Mortal life is a privilege and a necessary step in eternal progression. Mother Eve understood that. You must also understand it." Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters by: Spencer W. Kimball

• "Adam held the priesthood. Eve served in matriarchal partnership with the patriarchal priesthood. So today, each wife may join with her husband as a partner unified in purpose. Scriptures state clearly, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11). “They twain shall be one flesh” (Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:8; D&C 49:16). Marvelously, it takes a man and a woman to make a man or a woman. Without union of the sexes, neither can we exist, nor can we become perfect. Ordinary and imperfect people can build each other through their wholeness together. The complete contribution of one partner to the other is essential to exaltation." Lessons from Eve by: Russell M. Nelson

• "In the beginning, Adam was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow—not Eve. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother’s place is in the home!" The Honored Place of Women by: President Ezra Taft Benson

• "In the beginning, God placed a woman in a companion role with the priesthood. God said, “It was not good that the man should be alone; wherefore, I will make an help meet for him.” (Moses 3:18.) . . . Since the beginning, a woman’s first and most important role has been ushering into mortality spirit sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven. Since the beginning, her role has been to teach her children eternal gospel principles. She is to provide for her children a haven of security and love—regardless of how modest her circumstances might be." The Honored Place of Women by: President Ezra Taft Benson

• “By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way” (“Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Liahona, June 2006, 51–52; Ensign, June 2006, 83–84).

• "Thus, priesthood is the power of God. Its ordinances and covenants are to bless men and women alike. By that power, the earth was created. Under the direction of the Father, Jehovah was the creator. As Michael, Adam did his part. He became the first man. But, in spite of the power and glory of creation to that point, the final link in the chain of creation was still missing. All the purposes of the world and all that was in the world would be brought to naught without woman—a keystone in the priesthood arch of creation." (Emphasis added) Lessons from Eve by: Russell M. Nelson

• "The unique combination of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional capacities of both males and females was needed to enact the plan of happiness. “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11). The man and the woman are intended to learn from, strengthen, bless, and complete each other." We Believe in Being Chaste by: Elder David A. Bednar

• “Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.”  President Gordon B. Hinckley

• "'Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind' (Messages of the First Presidency, 6:178). The priesthood cannot work out its destiny, nor can God’s purposes be fulfilled, without our helpmates. Mothers perform a labor the priesthood cannot do. For this supernal gift of life the priesthood should have love unbounded for the mothers of their children. Men should give them honor, gratitude, reverence, respect, and praise." The Highest Place of Honor by: President James E. Faust

• To be entrusted with the power to create life carries with it the greatest of joys and dangerous temptations. The gift of mortal life and the capacity to kindle other lives is a supernal blessing. Through the righteous exercise of this power, as in nothing else, we may come close to our Father in Heaven and experience a fulness of joy. This power is not an incidental part of the plan of happiness. It is the key—the very key. Cleaning the Inner Vessel by: Boyd K. Packer

• This series of incredibly insightful blog posts on "If the womb is a veil."

• This series of blog posts by one of my favorite LDS bloggers, Bonnie.
• And obviously, this divinely inspired document on the family. :)

Virtuous women and righteous Priesthood holders - together in marriage - wield the greatest powers of God and bless the world, each other, and their posterity, forever.

Scratch-made Toddler Snacks

This week, I made it a goal to try out a few scratch snack recipes for Lincoln. I thought I would share my results/recipes with you in case you ever felt the urge to do such a thing for your kidlets! I made whole wheat cheddar crackers, homemade graham cracker cookies, and dehydrated mango and banana slices.

Lincoln loves being the Guinea Pig for scratch-made toddler snacks. :)

  Scratch-made Toddler Snack #1: Whole-wheat cheddar crackers

Homemade whole-wheat cheddar crackers

I got the recipe for these crackers from weelicious.com (*Side note: LOVED these recipes for roasted chicken, and this one for whole-wheat crepes stuffed with honey cream cheese and bananas from the same site.*) I used sharp cheddar cheese. And I seasoned the cracker dough with garlic powder, Italian seasoning, and some Rosemary. I only cooked the crackers for 12 1/2 minutes, and did them a bit thicker than the recommended 1/4 inch, so they were more like cracker cookies. They were so yummy and savory. They definitely taste best fresh the first day. I would recommend dividing the dough up in thirds or halves, and refrigerating the dough you don't use to cook up from a few days later so you can enjoy the crackers fresh. These would also make really yummy homemade croutons in a mixed veggie salad. I will definitely be using these for that purpose in the future. Great recipe for crackers with no added salt. And, Lincoln (and Squire!) really enjoyed them. Lincoln also enjoyed stamping out the crackers from the dough with me. Activity and treat in one - score!

Scratch-made Toddler Snack #2: Homemade Graham Crackers

Homemade Graham Crackers

 Yum! The recipe for these also came from weelicious.com. I'm kind of really lovin' that site these days. Squire said these tasted like Teddy Grahams, but even better. Lincoln's sneaking into the kitchen to grab the crackers off the baking sheet told me he was in favor of this recipe, too. We dipped them in milk, and snacked on them today during our church's General conference. A smidgin or two of Nutella might have been involved with my crackers. :) These were a great little recipe, and very easy to make. The fact that you can freeze the dough to cook later makes them very appealing to me. (Less work, but more scratch food - yes, please!) I think in the future when I make these, I will cook them a few minutes shy of the recommended 15 minutes so that they have a bit more chew than crunch, and I will also make sure to use unsalted butter instead of salted as that was what I had on hand. But, even still - this recipe is a win.

Scratch-made Toddler Snack #3: Dehydrated Fruit - Mangoes and Bananas

Dehydrated mango and banana slices

I got a little bit of cash from my parents for my birthday and I decided to put it toward the purchase of my very own dehydrator! :) Today I put it to good use and made some Banana chew chips, and dehydrated mango slices. I cooked the fruit in the dehydrator at 140*F in for 2 hours, and then dropped the temp down to 135*F for about 5 more hours. I didn't treat the mango at all, and the flavor came out great - better than fresh even. The bananas I treated in two different ways. I dipped some of the bananas in lemon juice before dehydrating. I dipped some of the bananas in solution of 1/4 cup honey, 1/8 cup, and some cinnamon. Pictured above are the bananas dipped in lemon juice. The bananas dipped in the honey solution took several hours longer to dry (about 10 hours total), and were more brown. And while they were yummy, in the future, I think I will keep it simple and forget the added sugar of honey and just stick with the lemon juice treatment. The light tang of the lemon makes a very nice contrast to the sweet banana flavor which comes out more distinctly in dehydrated bananas. Lincoln loved the "mangoes snacks" and "nanas" and gobbled them up - after he shared a bite or two with his caterpillar, of course. :)

Sharing his snacks with his caterpillar.

Next toddler snacks on my list-to-try are: dehydrated apples, pineapples, apricots, sweet peppers, peas, blueberries, and homemade fruit leather!

Have you found any great toddler snack recipes? If so, please - do share! :)

On the Trenches of Motherhood: "Is This Really All I Do?!"

So, my mom saw one of my high school English teachers in town about a week ago. My teacher asked about how I was doing these days, and my mom showed her pictures of both my kidlets. "Oh. Last time I heard about Jami she only had one . . ." she said. My mom also mentioned I was becoming Hypnobabies certified to teach childbirth classes from my home. Her response - as my mom delicately described it - suggested disappointment. "Jami was such an intellectual . . . "

After I had that conversation with my mom and my kids were down for their naps, I got motivated and wrote this post about ways I try to keep an active mind as a stay-at-home mom. Because I often find stay-at-home motherhood to be quite compatible with having an active mind, thank you very much! And, I really do enjoy using my energy and mental faculties to create a home for my family, just as I like it to be.

But, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I understand why my old teacher thinks what she does about me wasting my intellect. I've had some similar thoughts myself in darker, trying moments.

 When Lincoln was about five months old, I remember calling my mom and sobbing over the phone. "Is this all I do? Is this all I'm worth? All I do is change diapers all day long. And I'm so tired. I'm so sick of poop. Is this all I do? I'm just so tired. I'm so tired."

Discovering that new mother self after a new baby comes into your life and changes everything you think about, love, and do every moment of your life can be stifling, and exhausting, and makes you want to scream out to the world - I love my baby so much and why on Earth did I choose this for myself?!

Adjusting to two has been easier than the adjustment to one was for me, but I still have my moments. Like last night for example. Last night was a rough one for me. Atley decided to stay up - all. night. long. At one point I burst out in tears and asked Squire through the salty outpour, "Why won't she sleep? I'm just so tired! I'm so tired. She needs to sleep! I need to sleep!" This night followed a day - mind you - that was filled to the brim with work, and gardening, and cleaning, and cooking, and tending to my kids and I was just absolutely beat. But, none of that changed the fact that after a night like last night, I still had to wake up, feed my family, and face a kitchen with piles of dishes stacked about three feet higher than the level of the sink, and several loads of laundry to boot. My fabulous husband decided to neglect his studies for an hour to help me conquer the dishes pile so that I could reasonably function without another nervous breakdown this morning, bless his soul. Being a stay-at-home mom and managing a household is so much work. And it never ever, ever, ever ends.

Lucky for me, while Lincoln was napping and Atley was having her late afternoon meal today, I was able to finish up a wonderful book that helped me to put my late night, busy week, and the disappointment from my old English teacher about my life choices into a more eternal perspective.

In her book, Covenant Motherhood: Reflecting the Role of Christ in Our Lives, Stephanie Dibb Sorensen described a time where she wasn't feeling fulfillment in the trenches of motherhood. She writes,

"I was so tired, and every time I turned around, there was something or someone that needed to be cleaned. I remember an inner dialogue that would often surface: Seriously? I am a bright and intelligent woman. I have a master's degree, for heaven's sake. I am blowing noses and vacuuming Cheerios and scraping spit-up off of car-seat buckles. Is this seriously how I'm supposed to spend my life? Maybe I am exceptionally shallow or slow. . . or normal. I'm not sure, but while I know there are some mothers out there who find joy all along the journey of motherhood, I struggled to find meaning in what I was doing day in and day out. I admire those other mothers; I really do." (pg.35-36)

She went on to explain that she loved her kids. Though she wasn't feeling fulfilled in her role as a mother. She began to seek out Heavenly Father's help in coming to love what He loves. The following is her description of what came to her in her pondering:

"I learned that Heavenly Father cared a great deal about how I felt about motherhood. He wanted me to see it how He sees it, so He started to show me. One afternoon, I was sitting on the floor in my daughter's room, changing her soiled diaper. I removed it, cleaner her, and fastened on a fresh diaper. The following scripture came into my mind: "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow" (Isaiah 1:18). It dawned on me that Jesus Christ was in the cleaning business. A crucial part of His mission was taking things or people that were soiled and making them clean. In that moment, I felt a flow of love and revelation - clusters of thoughts and ideas that started to fit together like a puzzle. My job was a reflection of His. It could teach me about Him and make me more like Him. This was life-changing information." (Covenant Motherhood, pg.36)

She elaborates on this point by explaining:

"My simple service of cleaning in my own home and with my own family mirrors His greater mission. It makes me love Him more, know Him more, serve Him more, understand Him more, and even become more like He is. And when I think of all the times I sin and repeat the sin or fall into new ones, I realize that I am not much different from my children and their messes; nevertheless, Jesus Christ cleanses me over and over and over again because He loves me. Cleaning equals service, and service equals love." (Covenant Motherhood, pg.40)

Motherhood is a reflection of what Christ does for us in our lives. And through our routine tasks, we reflect the role of the Savior in our homes with our children. Serving, and cleaning, and caring for children reflects the Savior's role. What could be a greater or more meaningful role than that? I love how Stephanie says here:

"So often I am tempted to discount the impact of things that take up most of my time - the logistical duties like cooking, bathing, and laundering. Maybe Alma could read my mind and was speaking directly to me when he said, "Now ye suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold . . . the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." (Covenant Motherhood, pg.87)

I know that's true. I forget it sometimes in my moments of crazed exhaustion, and when my work for the day is literally stacked up taller than me. But this work of motherhood is God's work, and everything I do and sacrifice for my family helps me to become who God would have me be, and to love doing what He loves to do, and ultimately, hopefully bring those little souls closer to Him.

What is God's work and glory? ". . . to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." And as mothers, that is exactly our work and our glory, too.

The more we come to understand that the daily work we do in our homes and with our families is really God's work, the more we can appreciate and joyfully accomplish those things that we do day in and day out. Ms. C may see my choice to be a stay-at-home mom as a disappointing waste of my intellect, but God certainly doesn't see it that way. As I've said before and remind myself often - we are building Cathedrals mamas! 

For anyone out there who is having a hard time with in the trenches of motherhood right now, I highly recommend Stephanie Dibb Sorensen's book, Covenant Motherhood. It will put into perspective for you the grand role of motherhood (and all the daily little things that entails) in God's plan in a totally relatable and enjoyable way. I know it did for me today. Thank you, Stephanie! Your book was uplifting, enlightening, funny, unpretentious, and perfect. 

Now good night all. My heavy eyelids are hoping baby girl sleeps a little more tonight than she did last night . . . Back to the trenches I go!  :)

Lincolnisms

Enjoying a treat from the ice cream truck with his birthday money from Granny.

If for some reason you happen to stay at my home, and my son jumps in your bed at 6:00am asking for "Lunch" you can be sure he is ready for some breakfast.

Oh, and if you ever happen to hear that same little boy saying, "mooie porn" please do not be alarmed. He is only asking for his favorite popped snack to eat while watching a thrilling educational program from the library: (movie) popcorn.

Despite my attempts to neutralize my reactions (to prevent positively reinforcing) Lincoln's bringing bugs into the house on his finger to show me, or his pointing out "Bum bum! Poop!" every time he sees the backside of an animal or person, or his grabbing at my chest and announcing, "Boobies!" He has still discovered that these things warrant reactions and laughs. What can I say? He's all boy, and his father's son.

Each night, we give our silly little boy a sippy cup when he goes to bed. One night, we didn't notice he already had an old cup in his bed when we brought him a fresh sippy of water. Upon discovering that he had not only one, but two sippy cups, he burst into uncontrollable laughter and said, "Waters! Waters!"

Delighted at the frog fountain at the zoo.

It doesn't appear, however, that his extremely well-developed sense of humor is wooing the ladies completely quite yet. At story time at the library, he pulls up a pillow to sit on, right next to a cute little Hispanic girl about his age. He sits next to her, and then scootches his little bottom even closer next to her. Every time, the little girl looks back to her grandma with a look of severe discomfort that says, "Who is this kid and what does he think he's doing?!" She runs back to the safety of the space near her grandmother, and Lincoln just shrugs his shoulders and finds his place - standing at the librarian's feet, directly in front of the story time book, blocking the view of everyone at story time.

Story time isn't the only place where this little boy sticks out though. On Saturday, we brought Lincoln to the Children's Museum to participate in the free Easter egg hunt they were hosting. And out of - I don't know, 200 people? - Lincoln is the one kid who ran under the flags blocking off the grass to get on with hunting for his Easter eggs. *Cue some blushing and apologies from his Mom.*

But, he's still little right? I mean, all the other kids at the Easter Egg hunt were little too, but he is only two. And we're working with him to teach him patience. He still manages to sneak bites of food during mealtime prayers, but we working with him. When he steals another child's toy, he is actually thoughtful enough to think to get that child a replacement toy. And he loves to put diapers on his stuffed bunny, wrap it up in a blanket, and put it to bed.

This little boy loves to "Dribe!"

Lincoln isn't potty trained, but we are working on it with him these days. After he goes pee on the potty, he will ask for "nakins" (toilet paper) and then for "M's" (M&M's). He gets 3 M&M's when he fills up a whole row of 8 stickers on his reward chart. Lincoln takes great pride in his stickers and loves to do a short parade through the kitchen and living room whenever he earns one for going on the potty, or for being a very good helper cleaning up his toys before bed at night.

We are still having struggles with his passive (and not so passive) aggressive behavior towards his little sister. But, I like to focus on the moments when he asks to "Hol her!" (Or alternately, "Hol it!") and he tries to rock Atley's solid chunky body back and forth as he tells her, "Shhh!" Or when he brings her a blanket, "Warm. Baby." Or when he pets her head lightly as he says, "Sof, sof. . . " (soft), or when he says, "Gentle" as he anything-but-gently bobs his little sister up and down in her bouncer - which has surprisingly on occasion actually helped to calm her down.

Recently, we had a family home evening lesson with Lincoln about the Sacrament and what it means. We showed him pictures of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the Cross. While I can't say his pointing out, Jesus' "Diaper!" was my proudest parenting moment of all time, I absolutely love that when he takes the sacrament at church with us, he now says, "Body. Jesus."

I love our sweet, rambunctious, curious, outspoken little boy. Yes. I. Do. :)

10 Tips for Keeping an Active Mind as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Being a stay-at-home mom means that you never get to go the bathroom by yourself again, and that the laundry will never be 100% complete for more than about 12 seconds. It also means that you have all the opportunity in the world to create and enrich your life and the lives of those babies with their wiggly fingers underneath that bathroom door, just the way you like. Your home is your canvas! While my time is never completely mine any more, I have found that staying at home with my kids gives me both freedom and encouragment to develop my mind, talents and interests in wonderful ways. I thought I would share them with you all today. Here are 10 tips for keeping an active mind as a Stay-at-home Mom: 

• When you wake up each day, before you get out of bed, give yourself 3 specific goals you want to accomplish. Write them down on a post-it or just repeat them in your mind a few times. Have one goal be housework-related, one quality-time-with-the-kids-related, and one all about fulfilling-something-you-want-to-do-related. Get those done before your head hits the pillow that night.
• Listen to free college lectures, pod casts, speeches or your favorite talk radio hosts while you wash dishes or fold laundry. I love American History and learning about the Constitution, so I have been listening to these free lectures from Hillsdale college. And re-listening to General Conference talks or to CES firesides has been a wonderful way to bring the Spirit in to my home and to let the words of the speakers sink deeper into my heart and mind. And while I don't have Sirius XM, I do still love to listen to Dr. Laura's Call of the Day on occasion. On occasion, I also listen to news or conference talks in German to help keep my German up - I recommend that to anyone who speaks a foreign language! Oh, and TED talks? Those are awesome and stimulating, too! Listening while you work helps the drudgery of repetitive work become so much more enjoyable.
• Make late-night feedings something to look forward to with a great book. If you have to be up late to feed your baby, you might as well be learning about or reading something interesting, right?! I love the Nook with glowlight Squire got me for Christmas. Its light is designed to be able to read in the dark without waking you up too much. It doesn't bother Squire while I read either. Plus I can read one-handed. But, a Nook or kindle is not necessary to read of course. You can read old fashioned books with book lights just as well. And this need not be an expensive habit - the public library is your friend! Your friends with good books are also a great resource, too. ;)
• Let the needs of your family give your mind fuel for creative projects/activities. For example, I made this weekly calendar only because of the Lincoln's incessant asking to go to church. I learned to crochet rag rugs to brighten up Lincoln's bare room. I am currently making a quilt for Atley so she has visually appealing bedding in her room. I absolutely love music, and Lincoln does too. Almost everyday we sit at the piano and sing songs together. Not only am I improving my sight-reading skills and training my voice, but I am spending quality time with my son as I do it. Things that benefit your family can benefit you just as much in your creating/doing them! Get excited about what you can learn and the talents you can develop in serving your family's needs.
• Establish family reading time routines. A couple times a week, Lincoln pulls out a book, usually one of the books we checked out from the library that week, I pull one out, too and we both read (or in Lincoln's case, look through the pictures of the book) at the same time in the same room. I love doing this with Lincoln, and I think it will pay big dividends in the end. I am establishing with him that reading is important to our family as well as helping to facilitate independence and a love of books in him. Not to mention - getting at least a few minutes to read a bit myself.
• Join a book club, exercise group, or start a play group where the mamas are learning something actively together while the kids play. I go to a book club once a month, go to a dance group once a week, and am starting an emergency preparedness playgroup as well. Belonging to groups like these helps you build closer friendships as well as keeps your mind and body active - and give your kids a chance to play and interact with other kids.
• Nap time is your time! Create something, write something, read something in the down time of the day. I've found it's best if I know what I want to work on during nap time before it hits so I can make the most of that limited time. Even if your kids don't nap, establish quiet time in their rooms for at least an hour each day so that you still have a chance to recharge a bit.

• Expand your food repertoire! Try out a new recipe each week. This helps keep your mind and palate stimulated and open to new possibilities.
• Get your spouse involved. Something Squire and I love to do is read out loud to each other after the kids are down for the night. One of us with be working on a chore or project while the other reads out loud. This is great, productive bonding time for us as a couple and it keeps my mind happy.
• Cut back on your TV time to make time for more active learning. Be choosy about what you do watch. We don't have a TV in our house, but we do watch a show or movie from time to time on our laptop. We like to check out good educational DVD's from the library to watch with Lincoln every 1-2 weeks. We also love watching good documentaries, International films, or movies based on a book we read out loud together as a couple.
• Go to the library once a week with your child(ren). Let your children choose a book or two, but make sure that you choose a children's book that will also interest you. Not that Children's books are necessarily the height of all intellectual thought, but at the same time, there is a great deal that can be pondered and learned from a simple children's book. So, pick a good one and enjoy reading it with your child 30 times over the course of the next week. ;)

Above all, be flexible. Don't be disappointed when your time doing something is cut short. In my experience as a mom so far - it almost always is. Just take advantage of the time you do have. You'll be surprised how much you can accomplish and how delighted your mind will be when you do. :)

What do you do to keep an active mind as a stay-at-home mom?